James Bond Academy
by Pepsi the Kid
Summary: Not giving it away
1. Chapter 1

IH: First of all I would like to bring it to your attention that I might be on a bit of a sugar high and that anything bad that I say can't and won't be used against me in the court of law (smiles evilly). Secondly I would like to state for the record that I do not own James Bond but am only making plans to overtake the copyright involving the CIA, FBI, Secret Services, an army of possessed guinea pigs, and many un-named organizations. Maybe I shouldn't have said that. Oh well, get on with the story.  
  
Kennedy and his two best friends, Michael and Chris, were nearing the end of their 48 hour long James Bond marathon (All of their parents had been conveniently invited to a conference on parenting your teenage child).  
  
KE: Coooooooooooooool. CH: Yeah. that was pretty awesome. MI: I wonder what it would be like. You know. Being James Bond. KE, CH, and MI: Now that would be cool!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Just as the trio finished these words, two people walked through the doorway, James Bond and Q.  
  
JB: Michael, Kennedy, Chris. MI6 is looking for three new recruits for our program, three recruits like you. Interested?  
  
There was a short pause then.  
  
CH in a whisper: This isn't a hallucination like the last time. is it? KE in a whisper: I'll go check.  
  
Kennedy got up from his seat inches away from the TV, and checked the bottom of the chip dip. Then he walked up to James Bond and Q who were exchanging puzzled looks, and poked each of them several times. He then returned to his seat.  
  
KE in a whisper: The chip dip isn't passed its expiration date, and unlike last time, they feel like they exist. MI and CH: COOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
After about a half an hour of the three performing hallucination and schizophrenia tests, they decided that it actually was Q and James Bond, for real.  
  
JB: What are those?  
  
He indicated the booklets that were in each boy's hands.  
  
MI: What? These? (He held up his booklet) Chris picked them up at chapters for us. They're "101 ways to tell if you're hallucinating", very useful. JB: Right. Well the car is waiting for us in the driveway, incase you wanted to come.  
  
His sentence was cut short by all three boys rushing past him in a stampede to the car. Bond exchanged puzzled looks with Q before both of them ran to catch up with the three boys.  
  
IH: Please review my story, and if you would like to be included in it, type in your review what you want your name to be and I will try to include you in the next chapter. More updates soon. 


	2. Chapter 2

IH: Well I didn't lie, I made another chapter. So all of you that thought that I was lying can go. M: Watch your mouth IH: Oh. M, I didn't know you were here. (Pointing behind her) Hey! Is that James Bond? M: (Turning around) No, I don't believe that's James but. HEY! WHERE DO YOU THINK YOUR GOING!? IH: please start the story, please start the story.  
  
James Bond and Q were on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Among the many annoyances the boys had caused were stealing the remote control for the car, mooning pedestrians out of the windows, stealing James' wallet (where they found several condoms), and the classic "Are we there yet, Are we there yet, Are we.".  
  
MI: (Pointing to a button with a submarine on it) What's that button do? Q: That button changes the car into a submarine. CH: (pointing to a button with a bed on it) Then what's that button do? Q: Why don't you tell them James? JB: It is not for them to know. KE, CH, and MI: Ohhhhhh.  
  
All of the three boys start laughing ridiculously, joined in rather hesitantly by Q.  
Three hours, and five nervous breakdowns later.  
  
JB: If you want to make yourselves useful, then one of you can check the GPS. CH: Call it! JB:. one of you can check and restock the weaponry. KE: CALL IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! JB: .and the other can check on all of the cars at MI6 headquarters MI: CALL IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! JB: .now will you all just shut up while I attempt to drive!  
  
The three got to work immediately, whipping out their laptops and typing furiously.  
  
CH: We are approximately one and a half hours away from MI6 headquarters. MI: And all of the cars are fine, but I ordered some new rims for the jag. KE: And I managed to hack into your online banking account to buy myself something nice. oh, and I restocked your weaponry too. JB: Uh. great job.  
  
For the rest of the trip, the boys were unusually quiet, which for James was even scarier than when they were making their evil plots aloud. The trio were typing madly on their laptops, stopping every once in a while to laugh psychotically. Ten minutes before arriving at MI6 headquarters, James noticed that an animated middle finger was where the GPS was, and that word sexaholic was where his odometer was supposed to be.  
  
JB: Well here we are, MI6 academy.  
  
IH: Please review my story, and I'll be back with more updates soon! 


	3. Chapter 3

It was 8:00 AM and the three boys were walking off to their first and only class of the day, computer hacking. They attracted strange looks as they walked down the hall. Michael had put so much gel in his hair that the reflection was blinding. He was also wearing a Hawaiian t-shirt with matching shorts. Chris was wearing a "Dungeons and Dragons" sweater and a pair of navy blue slacks. Kennedy was wearing a hoodie that had so many objectional words/phrases that I'm not sure I'm allowed to write down in a PG fic, and a pair of very baggy jeans. A girl a little bit taller than Kennedy walked towards them. She was wearing an outfit like Kennedy's, only more drastic. Her name was Darth Trinity.  
  
DT: Who are you? CH: We are Chris, Kennedy, and Michael. Who are you? DT: I'm Darth-Trinity, but you can call me DT. What class do you have? MI: Computer hacking. DT: Me too, see ya there.  
  
She turned and headed in the opposite direction.  
  
KE: What an idiot, the computer lab is the other way.  
  
Ten minutes later the trio arrived in the computer lab, to find DT and her friend GT already seated at computers.  
  
KE: How the hell did ya get here so fast? GT: Let's just say that we've "discovered" a few "shortcuts" in our time at MI6. MI: Funny, that's just what we were going to do after lunch. CH: Wanna join us? DT and GT: Sure.  
  
The random, boring, instructor guy walked into the classroom and everyone shut up.  
  
RBIG: Will everyone please read chapters 1-3 in your textbooks. All: Done. RBIG: Ok, then you should all be able to hack into my super-computer. MI, KE, and CH: Been there. DT and GT: Done that. RBIG: Then. Uhh. Whaa. umm, class dismissed.  
  
The five psychos walked out of the classroom and down the hall towards the weaponry, stopping in the middle of a deserted hallway. Kennedy took off his backpack and opened it, revealing many different types of explosives.  
  
CH: C-4? KE: check MI: Detonator? KE: check. GT: Shall I do the honors? MI: Sure. (Covers his hair with both hands)  
  
Ten seconds later, there was a smoking hole in the wall and the psychos appeared back in the hallway, arms full of weapons and several new watches each.  
  
CH, MI, and KE: See ya tomorrow! GT and DT: See ya!  
  
IH: Thanks for reading, pleez review! 


	4. Chapter 4

The three boys were walking down the hallway where they would have met DT and GT, had they not been in detention. They stopped in front of a pepsi machine, where Michael pulled out his watch and cut a hole in it using the laser attachment. Chris reached his hand in and pulled out pepsi blues for everyone. When the boys turned around, they came face to face with their new friends, Jamie and Brad. They had met each other in a plastic explosives "accident". Chris reached his hand in and pulled out two more pepsi blues and handed one to each of the other two boys.  
  
KE: You can drive, right? J: Yeah, why? CH: OK, we'll let you in on our "master plan". MI: We need to "borrow" the answer key for our written exam. KE: and we need someone, you, to create a really big distraction, i.e. driving a car down the hallway. CH: and DT and GT are in detention so we can't ask them. MI: if you could be kind enough as to drive that "borrowed" XKR down the hall, wreaking havoc all over MI6, than it would be greatly appreciated. KE: So what do ya say? J and B: I'm in!!!  
  
Later that day.  
  
J: car? B: check J: helmets? B: check J: Looks like we're all set, you? KE: plastic explosive? CH: check KE: backpack? MI: check KE: Yeah we're all set. All: It's showtime!  
  
Jamie and Brad climbed into the XKR, to which they had obviously made a few "minor" adjustments, because the car went from 0-60 in one second flat. Within the next minute, Jamie and Brad had torn up the entire hallway, including M's office, the Q-Labs (where they were working on something involving nitroglycerine), and Bond's "sleeping" quarters. When they arrived back in their dormitories Michael, Chris, and Kennedy were covered in soot and looking over what appeared to be the answer key. Judging by the large explosion seconds earlier, Jamie and Brad had jettisoned the XKR.  
  
MI: Thanks for your help. B: Don't mention it. KE (handing Jamie and Brad the answer key): and here is your reward. J: thanks. CH: We gotta go and bust DT and GT's asses out of detention. J: see ya. MI: later. 


End file.
